Welcome back to my blog. I’m Leah a mum to a crazy 5 year old who I am trying to gentle parent. I am a yoga teacher and it is definitely helping me with my parenting approach so I’m here to share some tips and advice that have worked for me and people I know.
What does being a present mum mean?
Being a present mum means being actively engaged and focused on your child when you are spending time with them. It means being fully present and attentive to their needs, emotions, and interests.
A present mum is not just physically present but also mentally and emotionally present. We have all had times where we are playing with our child but we are not mentally there right?
Being a present mum also means being involved in your child’s life and creating opportunities for quality time together. This can include playing games, reading books, going on outings, or simply having meaningful conversations.
In summary, being a present mom involves prioritizing your child’s well-being and being fully engaged in their life, both physically and emotionally.
Sounds great right? But I know this is hard for so many of us to do. We have work, household chores, pets, cooking and so many more things that we need to do that it is hard finding time for this especially being emotionally present after being drained from our to-do lists.
So, How Do We Do This?
Today I am giving you 5 tips to help you become a more present mum. Please don’t feel like you have to do all these things at once. Do 1 thing at a time until it becomes easy and then add another in. We aren’t robots we can’t just upload these things into us and it be natural.
5 tips to help you be a more present mum
Leave the house! Do you ever find that when you are out, your child behaves better or talks to you more. When you are outside of the home you are less distracted by things like phones, housework, cooking etc. I know sometimes kids can be hard work when they are out but next time you go out, notice the connection not the behaviour. See if it is better. Are you more focused on them and what they are doing? Do you ask more questions, join in with them.
Notice when your being mindful. The next time you really concentrate on your kids, have meaningful conversations, have some snuggly time notice it. Look at the situation and try and create it daily. Kids need to know that we are their for them and supporting them. This could look like, cuddles before bed, talking while they’re sat on the toilet, talking about how there day was after school. It’s going to be different for everyone so notice when you yourself feel mindful around them and recreate it.
Hide your phone. I know, I know its difficult. Our phones distract us so often and if your child talks to you, put down your phone even if that is every 5 minutes because to them that is showing that you care less about them and more about your phone. It’s a horrible thought and I know I am definitely guilty of this one. So instead hide it so it is not a distraction. If you are having quality time with your child don’t have your phone near you for temptation.
Pause, Breath, Respond. Next time you feel like you are going to lose it, or you can feel your temper rising. Take a pause, take a couple of breathes, calm your nervous system and calm yourself before you respond. Being mindful of your own emotions is going to help them be able to deal with theirs later on. How many times have you reacted to something quickly and then thought ‘hhhmm I shouldn’t of done that, I should of waited. This is not me calling you out by the way, we all do this. You can deal with situations better when you are in a calmer state so make sure you calm yourself first. (yogic breathing exercises are great for this – click here for some)
Help yourself to make it a habit. Things take time. You need to remind yourself why you are doing it to make sure you stick to it. Put up a post it note somewhere with a word that jogs your memory like ‘connection’ ‘loving’ ‘best mum’ Something that helps you remember why you are doing this. Have a bad day? That’s fine we all get them, start again tomorrow!
Lastly, just remember these things take time and a great way to stay mindful, present and non reactive is to calm your own nervous system first. So come and join me on a 15 day yoga journey with short classes on movement, breath and meditation. These classes are nice and short for busy mums to fit in! Click the link below to join us for free now.